We're Engaged! Now What?

• Looking for your parish's contact info? Click here for a full listing of all Diocese of Baton Rouge parishes and information.
• The 1st meeting with the priest or deacon is primarily to determine your freedom to marry.
  • If either of you has ever attempted any kind of a civil or church wedding, you cannot reserve the church or date until the Diocesan Tribunal has verified that you are free to marry.
  • If you got married in a civil service wedding but now want your marriage blessed by the Church (this is called a convalidation), you must wait 6 months after your civil ceremony before you can begin your 6-month preparation in the Church. In other words, you have to wait a year after a civil ceremony wedding before you can receive your convalidation. To learn more about convalidations, click here.

• The Catholic Church insists that weddings must be held in a church building.
• You need to reserve the church of your choice by contacting that parish office directly. Click here for parish contact information. Your reservations with the church are not final until the pastor of that parish agrees.
• In Catholic Churches of the Diocese of Baton Rouge, weddings (even without Mass) cannot be scheduled after 3:00 pm on Saturdays and the vigils of holy days of obligation, or on Sundays and holy days of obligation.

• The priest, deacon or trained lay person will give you this usually within a month after your first meeting.
• The surveys can be one of these: the FOCCUS test, the Pre-Marital Inventory (PMI), the PREPARE instrument
• The priest/deacon or another official lay minister will supervise this, share the findings with you, highlight areas of personal and relational strength and weakness. Usually, the results of this serve as good discussion-starters.

• All those wishing to embrace Catholic marriage are required to accept that the good of the spouses and the good of children are essential to the married state, and to embrace the Church's teachings regarding marital permanence and fidelity.
• When a Catholic person wishes to marry someone who is not Catholic, the Catholic must promise formally to remain Catholic, and to do all in his/her power to have the children of the union baptized and raised as Catholics. The non-Catholic party is to be made aware of this solemn promise made by the Catholic.
• In the course of these meetings with the priest/deacon/official lay minister, the formal paperwork is completed, and any needed permissions or dispensations are requested. Click here for some of the forms you may be asked to complete and some of the guidelines to which you will be asked to adhere. The preparation is always tailored to your individual needs and your situation in light of the doctrines and canon laws of the Catholic Church.
• At some point, if you are Catholic or another Christian denomination, you will be asked to produce a copy of your original baptismal certificate. This copy can be obtained by contacting the church directly where you were baptized and asking them to send a copy. In Catholic churches, each parish office is required  to keep all Certificates of Baptism on file for every baptism ever performed there. In the event a church  has closed since your baptism, the certificates will still be on file somewhere. They might be housed at another nearby church if there was a merging of parishes or they might be stored in the diocesan archives office.

Here are some approved programs:

• Group & Diocesan programs:
  • Called to Love - engaged couple's retreat. Click here for more information.
  • Engaged Encounter. Click here for more information.
  • Re-Marriage Program (formerly Redeeming State). Click here for more information.
• Parish-based programs (These are available only in some parishes. Check with your parish for availability)
  • Evenings for the Engaged
  • In-Home Marriage Prep
  • Prepare / Enrich
  • Sponsor Couples

NFP Programs
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• A wedding of two Catholics is ordinarily celebrated at Mass, with a priest as officiant; when one of you is not Catholic the wedding liturgy does not include holy communion, and so the officiant can be a Catholic priest or deacon, or a non-Catholic minister.
• For help in planning your liturgy and selecting your readings and prayers, check out information on our Resources for the Engaged page or you can look at "Together for Life" by Joseph M. Champlin. You can use the booklet to fill out the online selection form to keep track of your choices.
• Ordinarily, you will be invited to select the Bible readings to be proclaimed at the wedding, and to personalize the service by the decor, music and other ritual symbols you choose. Click here for some wedding music guidelines.
• Click these links if you need some help deciding:
  • Old Testament reading selections
  • New Testament reading selections
  • Gospel reading selections
  • Responsorial Psalm selections
• When you and your future spouse come from different religious backgrounds it is frequently a good idea to invite the non-Catholic person's own minister to take part in the service in some way.
• A convalidation ceremony usually takes place outside of Mass as well.
• The various liturgical laws of the Church and all applicable parish policies--as well as good taste!--must be followed in conducting the wedding, with the local pastor having the final say in these matters.

•  An unmarried engaged couple must obtain a Louisiana State marriage license from the Clerk of Court in a Louisiana civil Parish between 30 days and 24 hours prior to the planned wedding ceremony.
  • Bring this marriage license with you to the rehearsal which takes place 1 to 7 days before the wedding itself.  
  • Click here for information on how to get a marriage license in Louisiana.
  • Click here for specific information on the East Baton Rouge Clerk of Court website on Marriage Licenses.

Note: If you will be changing your last name after you're married, check out some of the guides on our Resources for the Engaged page under "How to Change Your Name and Other Legal Questions".

• If at any point, the priest/deacon who is preparing the couple determines that some significant problem exists, more special counseling may be required from specialists in the appropriate area of need. This kind of special counseling is almost always required when a party is still a minor; when a parent opposes the wedding; and when the unmarried woman is already pregnant. Special counseling is in order when there is any indication of problem drinking or drug abuse, of mental illness, or of physical violence within the relationship.
• If an unmarried couple already is cohabiting publicly, they often will be challenged to separate and resume chaste living as a way of preparing for their marriage.
• If for any reason the priest/deacon who has been asked to officiate, in consultation with the pastor and other Church officials as necessary, decides that the proposed wedding must be delayed, this decision must be conveyed immediately to the couple with all due sensitivity and charity. This is never an absolute refusal: the wedding may be postponed only for as long as the reasons for the delay continue to exist. Yet no other priest or deacon may undertake to officiate at a subsequent wedding of the parties without consulting first with the priest or deacon who refused to proceed, and with the bishop.
• The couple always has the right to file a written appeal against such a decision to postpone the wedding with the Bishop of Baton Rouge, who will consult with the priest or deacon, and with the pastor(s) and others as warranted, before responding.